Mercy Verse

I'm always looking for good mercy verses.

For those of you that don't know, I changed my name to Mercy when I joined SAG because there were too many other Tracy Edwards's on IMDB, and I had just been in the play The Crucible where my name was Mercy Lewis, and people called me Mercy sometimes at rehearsal, and I sort of liked it.

I also feel like anything good that has happened or is going to happen to me in the acting world is going to be because of God's mercy because this industry is too crazy and I am too clueless.

So anyway, I found this good verse today in Luke. It's after Mary found out she was going to be the mother of Jesus and when she went to her relative Elizabeth's house and sang a song of praise for how God had blessed her.

In Luke 1:50, she sings, "And his mercy is for those who fear him, from generation to generation." 

Mary feared the Lord, and I think part of the way she feared him was just by believing in her blessing. Elizabeth said to her in verse 45, "And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord." 

The main way I want to fear the Lord is by believing in his word and his promises and that he is with me and fighting for me in my pursuits.

I've been working hard at pursuing acting, especially recently, and Deuteronomy 28:8a says, "The Lord will command the blessing on you in your barns and in all that you undertake ['if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God' - v.1]." It also says in verse 12a, "The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands."

I know God is with me and blessing me in my work as I fear and obey him, but I also know it is not by my work that I have hope but only by his mercy.

Less Excess

Deuteronomy 17:17-20 - "And he [the next appointed king] shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold. And when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself in a book a copy of this law, approved by the Levitical priests. And it shall be with him, and he shall read in it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God by keeping all the words of this law and these statutes, and doing them, that his heart may not be lifted up above his brothers, and that he may not turn aside from the commandment, either to the right hand or to the left, so that he may continue long in his kingdom, he and his children, in Israel" (ESV).

I know I have not been appointed King and probably will never be, but I like these standards God sets for him, and I feel like I should have them for my life too.

I've been listening to a lot of Dave Ramsey lately (even though I'm not in debt and am pretty good with money), because he talks about investing and how it's "so easy" for anyone to become a millionaire if you just invest a small amount of money every month.

It's pretty enticing, and even though his teachings are laced with all kinds of scripture and there's lots of talk on generosity and right living, it sort of makes me get excited about accumulating wealth, which at this point in my life is more of a hindrance than anything.

Here are the reasons why it's a hindrance:

1. Every time I turn around, there's someone else that needs money. And it's either someone I care about or for a reason I care about, and if I were to think too much about accumulating money, I would not be able to give.
2. I currently do not have a plan for what I would do with accumulated money. I guess at some point I might like to buy a house, mostly because I like to have people over and host things. But right now I have been blessed with pretty frequent house-sittings jobs where the people encourage me to have people over, so it doesn't really seem like I need one yet. I also don't think I need a ton of money for headshots or acting class because I've spent a lot of money on that before, and God has since shown me I don't need money for that stuff. I also don't need an iPhone because I don't need to be addicted to checking my email, and I already have a really nice camera my roommate lets me borrow whenever I need it. My computer's still working pretty well, and my car's still running. And if my car dies, I'm pretty sure my mom is going to let me have hers since she's buying a new one. So yeah, it really doesn't seem like I need money right now. Sure I might need it somewhere down the road at some point, but until that point comes or God gives me a more clear vision for why I should be saving, I think I will just keep on giving. I do have a small amount of money saved for things that might come up, but I do not think it's "excessive," and also I can use it for giving.

I don't want to be distracted by tons of "stuff" or by men, and I really do above anything want to focus on God and his law and living how I am called to live. I do not always do this, but this passage reminds me that as a leader, it's not a bad goal to have.

Faith Overflowing

Mark 7:20-23 – “And he said, ‘What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of a man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person'" (ESV). 

The next part in Mark is about the Syrophoenician’s faith – the woman who was not a Jew but wanted her daughter healed of a demon, and Jesus said it’s not right to give the children’s bread to the dogs, and she said yes but even the dogs get the crumbs, and then God healed her daughter because of that statement, because of her faith.

So this all just makes me think about the heart, my heart. I mean, this woman did not prepare this statement beforehand, she just had such faith she wasn’t about to say, “Oh okay,” and leave Jesus because he said he wasn’t going to heal her daughter. She was going to keep fighting for what she came to him for, you know? 

I want to be like that, where faith is so deeply rooted in me that it comes out in everything I say and do. And I want faith to come out of me instead of evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, adultery, coveting, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.

Oh Lord cleanse me of these sins and put faith so strongly in my heart that it comes out in everything I do.

Just do what you came to do.

Being in the acting industry (or trying to be) makes me look more closely at the way Jesus became famous. Now, I'm not trying to become famous, but I am trying to make a living off this stuff, which does require some amount of notice from people.

So I think it's interesting if you look in Mark chapter one because in there Jesus starts out going into the towns (where lots of people are) in order to teach and heal. Mark 1:38 says, "And he [Jesus] said to them, 'Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out'" (ESV). 

But then as more and more people come to know who he is and what he does, he no longer has to go anywhere. In fact Jesus could be in the middle of nowhere semi-hiding, and people would be talking about him and come find him. Mark 1:45b says, ".. Jesus could no longer openly enter a town, but was out in desolate places, and people were coming to him from every quarter." 

This goes along well with something God's been giving me wisdom about lately concerning my career. I'm starting to realize that I should spend a little less time figuring out how to market myself as an actor (i.e. Should I cut my hair? Should I get new headshots? What agency should I go with?) and a little more time just acting.

Because though a certain look may get me in the door somewhere, do I really want someone to hire me because of my look? Will someone even hire me because of my look? It may help, but if I can't act, I'm not going to book it.

So I want to act. Act act act, and get better at acting, "for that is why I came out." And then pretty soon I may not have to go into the casting showcases and workshops anymore because people will be calling me!

"If you build it, they will come.."

People say it's a Catch 22 to try to make it into acting because you can't act without a good agent and you can't get a good agent without having good acting credits. But guess what, I can go to acting class, and I can get plays from the library and do scenes with my acting friends, and I can act act act so that I'm ready for auditions and can actually book something on the rare occasion I get the chance to. And then pretty soon marketing will be in the back of my mind instead of in the front so much, making me stressed and insecure trying to figure out the seeming impossibility of making my headshot so awesome that just a glance from a casting director will make him stop and go, I want her. How do you do that? I don't know.

This is why I'm just going to "act" for a while and stop worrying about it.

Obedience is the very best way..

So in case you're wondering how to live securely..

Leviticus 25:18-19 says, "Therefore you shall do my statutes and keep my rules and perform them, and then you will dwell in the land securely. The land will yield its fruit, and you will eat your fill and dwell in it securely." 

Easy enough. So you mean, I don't have to have billions of dollars saved up or work all the time non-stop no matter what to make sure I'm secure for the rest of my life? I just have to obey God's commands?

But what are God's commands?

Well The Ten Commandments are a good place to start (Exodus 20). Or you don't even have to know all that. You can just love God and love others, and that pretty much sums it up (Matthew 22:37-40).

And if you want to know more details about who God is and what he expects, you can just read anywhere in the Bible. And if you want God to turn you into the type of person that obeys often, you can read the Bible daily and meditate on its truths, and you won't even have to think much about keeping rules because you just will start to naturally.

That is pretty cool because if I'm obeying God's commands and living securely then I don't have to worry, and that is a huge weight lifted off. And I'm not even just talking about financial security. I'm talking about security security, like this might also be the answer to insecurity.

I can be so insecure all the time: Ugh, my hair looks gross today. Why is my skin like that? I just said something really stupid. How come I'm not as skinny as her? Why did I just totally screw up that audition? Why am I still pursuing this crazy career? I'm not good enough. I don't know what I'm doing. Why am I here? AHHHHHHHHHHH.

But God says, "Tracy, just obey me. And you will live securely." 

Oh yeah. Thanks for the remind.

Best Five Year Plan Ever

So you probably shouldn't read this because I'm sort of taking a scripture out of context in order to make it more applicable to my life, but still I think it's interesting.

Leviticus 19:23-25 says, "When you come into the land and plant any kind of tree for food, then you shall regard its fruit as forbidden. Three years it shall be forbidden to you; it must not be eaten. And in the fourth year all its fruit shall be holy, an offering of praise to the Lord. But in the fifth year you may eat of its fruit, to increase its yield for you: I am the Lord your God" (ESV). 

After reading from a few commentaries on Bible Hub, I now understand better the reason for waiting three / four years. It is because a tree does not bear its best, full crop of fruit until the fourth year, and the tree's fruit is seen as unclean until the first fruits are offered to God. But you don't want to offer fruit to God that's not at its best, so you have to wait until the fourth year to give it to Him, and then you can eat of it yourself after that, in the fifth year.

So here's how this applies to me (as I've imagined in my mind): I came to LA the first time for three years, planted some seeds / trees in the acting / industry world, but not a whole lot has happened. But this is now the fourth year, which is going to be when the best crop is produced (yeah!), so I can finally give it as a sacrifice to God for real. And then in the fifth year, when I'm 31, that's when I will enjoy the fruit of this pursuit for my own life and benefit as well.

(Is it weird to come up with a five-year plan when you're in the fourth year of it?)

How big is your Bible?

Dr. Robert Flores, one of our newest pastors, said something that struck me last night. He said, "How big is your Bible?"

He didn't mean what is the actual size of your Bible, he meant how big is YOUR Bible. Like, the one you have in your heart. How many verses do you know? How much truth from it do you have inside you? If someone came and took your Bible and you couldn't get access to it anymore, would you have anything in your head that you could hang onto from it and share? That is your Bible.

For now, we can have our actual Bibles, but that may not always be the case. And even with that being the case, we may not always have it on us when we need it. We may be in a time of despair and maybe we're in the car or at a party, so we need to have its truth stored in our heads and our hearts so we can pull from that storage and revive ourselves with it. Also, there may be someone around us that's in despair, and we can't always play the, "You should come to my church, there's these really great pastors that know the Bible," card. We need to have the love and truth of the gospel so engrained in us that we are sharing the message as we speak whenever we speak. And that requires studying the Bible and really having it for ourselves at any time, even without the pages.

I know a lot of truth from the Bible, but I can't say I spend too much time memorizing it. I want to get the story of the Bible fully into my being so I can share about it at any time, but there are some really great verses to memorize that would be good for everyday rejuvenation.

Hmm.. Let's find one.

Oh, here's one I like a lot.

2 Timothy 1:7 - "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" (ESV).

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

(Sometimes it helps if I write it out a bunch.)

Now get going on YOUR Bible.

The Wilderness Way and The Waiting

I love the story about how God rescued the Israelites from their slavery in Egypt and especially the part where he parts the Red Sea and the Israelites walk through on dry land, defeating the Egyptians.

But today as I was reading about this in Exodus 13-15, a couple passages stood out to me:

Exodus 13:17-18a - "When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, 'Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.' But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea." 

So the wilderness was in the plan all along. The Israelites didn't take a wrong turn and end up in the wilderness. God specifically took them the wilderness way because he knows his people, his blessed and beloved people who are always being afraid and changing their minds. And sometimes he lets them do that, but this time God would not allow his glory to not be shown in the great way he had planned. He wanted once and for all for the Egyptians to know he is God, and even more importantly for the Israelites to know his power and that they are his people.

They did get afraid though:

Exodus 14:10-14 - "When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, 'Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.' And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'"

Wow. What a great thing to remember in a time of fear. Fear not, and just watch God work.

Recently one of our pastors spoke on the topic of rest. He said that basically the seasons of life are either like day or like night. There are times when everything is going really well (job promotions, awesome relationships, etc.), and we really feel God's presence and can see him working, and all we want to do is praise him all day. But then there are the "night" times, when God feels far away, and life feels sad and like nothing is happening or maybe even scary things are happening. But the pastor's encouragement was to not lose heart during that time because it's during the night that God is working, even though we can't see him.

He compared it to Adam in Genesis, when God created woman for him. It was the first time Adam had rested. Until then, Adam had been working. That was pretty much all he knew was work (Gen. 3:15, 19-20). But when God created Eve, he put Adam to sleep so that HE could work (Gen. 3:21). And that was when he produced the most amazing thing - woman :) - to be Adam's helper and mate.

So the pastor's encouragement to us was to yes, work hard in the day when the opportunities are there and God is telling us to do things. But in the waiting, in the resting, in the "night," we shouldn't be afraid but rather know that God is working and anticipate the good to come. Just like Moses said to the people, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today.. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."

That is pretty powerful stuff. (And I do hope one of the things God is having me wait for while he creates it, IS a man. Ha ha, just kidding -- sort of.)

No Sluggard Here

Proverbs 26:14 - "As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed." 

Proverbs has been cracking me up lately, but also it super makes sense and makes me think about things in a practical way.

I feel like a pretty hard worker normally, whether it's by working a bunch of hours for an actual job or by working really hard on my own thing. Either way though, I sometimes find myself tossing and turning at night, unable to fall asleep.

Why is this? Shouldn't I be able to fall asleep after completing such a long day of hard work? Don't I deserve to have a good night's rest at that point; and if I can't get one, don't I have a right to toss and turn and then get up and watch a TV show or be super stressed out about not falling asleep and then complain the next day?

Well now I'm thinking, Maybe I don't. Maybe if I can't fall asleep at night, it's because there's still more work to do, and I should get up and do it.

Something I look to often as an example of how I should be is Proverbs 31, which contains a description of "the woman who fears the Lord." And in there she works really hard and even "rises while it is yet night" to "provide food for her household" (v15).

A cross-reference to that is Proverbs 20:13 that says, "Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty; open your eyes, and you will have plenty of bread." 

Also in the rare moment I do decide to get up and work when I can't sleep, it's often some of my best work, and I feel really glad I did it.

So next time I'm about to start tossing and turning because I can't sleep, I'm going to remember these Proverbial words and just get up and do something of worth and realize it's a blessing my body is pushing me to do so.